Swine flu

Phoebe's class has been shut down for a week because of swine flu. Phoebe herself is perfectly fine, thankfully, but finds herself at something of a loose end.

"Daddy, I wish I was at school! I've finished all my homework and now I've got nothing to do. I'm a completely stiff board."

"Bored stiff, darling."

"Yes, that too."

The results are in

Well, Emily got the third highest number of votes in the class election and is now Treasurer. I'm not sure what funds she will be in charge of, but I have advised her to let prudence be her watchword and not to let the class return to the bad old days of boom and bust.

In other news, the new class president has appointed a number of his friends to special advisory positions, thus reducing the importance of the secretary and treasurer. I'm sure this will provide Emily with valuable insights into the workings of the democratic process...

Election

As you might expect, voting rights here in the cradle of democracy are acquired at an early age. So it is that Emily's class are all set to elect three children to the posts of President, Secretary and Treasurer. She will be announcing her candidacy tomorrow...

Jeans

Poor Emily had a miserable day at the shops last week, trying to find a pair of jeans that would fit her. After failing to squeeze into countless ridiculous designs, she finally managed to find something at M&S. But why was every single pair at Zara (to name the main offender) tailored for the thinnest, weediest legs imaginable? I'd estimate that about 2% of girls of Emily's age could have fitted into them.

Now it's one thing for the fashion industry to decide that "thin is in" this year for adults (who, after all, can just wear last year's slightly less fashionable styles if they can't find anything to fit them this year), but what are growing kids supposed to do when they can't find a single thing in their size in a store like Zara? And what kind of message does it send them? That they can't be fashionable and won't look good unless they're thin enough to fit into this circulation-stopping gear. All I can hope is that Zara sell so few of them that they realise the error of their ways (because at the end of the day it's all about the bottom line, isn't it?).

Actually, I don't reckon what Emily was trying on were even designed for children. They looked more like they were scaled down from a skinny pair of adult jeans. So what's going on here? Do the buyers or designers at Zara truly not have the brain to realise that children are not miniature versions of grown-ups with exactly the same proportions? Or is this a deliberate tactic to foster feelings of inadequacy among pre-teen girls? Whatever. Thank you Zara for producing such fabulously unwearable clothes that my daughter now has a completely unrealistic idea of what she ought to look like.

Robot

Phoebe's godmother got her a tin-can robot kit for her birthday...

Drums

Phoebe's drumming turns out to be quite thoughtful and considered, which is a relief when what we were expecting was something more like this:

Rock star

According to Phoebe, I have quite a nice singing voice but unfortunately I can't be a rock star because I'm not good looking enough.

Actually, she said that I'm not good looking at all.

So I told her that she can't be a rock star because when she sings she sounds like a honking seal.

We then blew raspberries at one another.